Happy Bums..Happy Mums!

As I gradually become accustomed to being pregnant, I am also beginning to wonder, "when the hell am I going to start getting "things" ready?" So far, the nursery is painted and that is all! No little doohickees or bumbledoos or squeeky things to mention. Not even a little shirt! Well...wait..I do have a free sample of diaper rash cream from the maternity store on the window sill, waiting so pathetically to be opened. The slogan keeps me amused: "Happy Bums, Happy Mums." Quite honestly, I am starting to feel utterly unprepared and a tad overwhelmed. Some of our old apartment-living habits are kicking in again too and I hate it! What I mean is a glass here, a sticky ice cream bowl there. Here we are with a brand new dishwasher that we longed for for years, and we neglect to put our used dishes in it right away. Why are such small things getting to me in such a big way? Our computer/ guest room is still in the same condition it was in a week after we moved. I want all of the comfort and reassurance of being prepared yet I am hesitant to get started. I am doing laundry weekly, yet the dryer is slowly turning into another dresser drawer. I forgot to water the plants last week. If you ask me, it seems like quite the daunting task to be one of those people who knows what they need to solve a problem and make an effort to get tasks done. Here's the kicker...at work, I am one those ready-for-anything people. Then, when I get home... not so much. When I read excerpts from Pregnancy Weekly, or any other PG magazine, they bombard me with so many choices and goodies that I will eventually need (stress), while at the same time dangling this sense euphoric calm and beauty. The moms in these magazines are doing yoga, eating healthy, watering plants, moisturizing their skin, their homes are nicely decorated, wearing the coolest maternity clothes and making me wish I could transport myself to that perfectly prepared-for world. Am I rubbing my belly enough to comfort and connect with my baby? Am I paying enough attention to myself? I don't have belly cream...I want belly cream. Perhaps I will make belly cream a starting point toward comforting me and baby. First, I'll get the belly cream, and then I'll get a move on.

My friend Heather sent me a list "goodies" that she found very helpful during her 1st pregnancy. Thank you Heather! This list has definitely helped calm me down:

MUST HAVES Both Big and Small

Stroller (think about winter….by this I mean wheels)
Breast Pump (if you plan on nursing). I recommend electric
Baby Bjorn (or some sort of baby carrier)
Bottles (make sure you have the right nipples) Unfortunately there is no way of knowing if your baby will ever take them…but if you are lucky, they will, and you will have them, if not, you have lots of bottles.
Portable Diaper Changer
Diaper Gene (it’s where you put the stinky diapers)
Some sort of baby chair (vibrating is nice, but not necessary. Toys that dangle are also nice. A chair that lasts until their toddler years is a good choice). Miles spent a lot of time sleeping in his chair for his day naps.
Pack n Play (it’s basically a bassinette and play pen and kids bed all in one…it’s good for traveling, and when you have baby company, and when baby sleeps in your room)
Monitors
If you want baby to sleep in bed with you, there are co sleepers, sort of like my change table (if you know the shape I mean)but for your bed….they are cool. I’m soooo getting one.
High Chair
Books
Lots of receiving blankets & face clothes (you will get plenty of these without asking)
Nursing Pillow. I used “My Breast Friend”. LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!! To each their own, but I really didn’t like the nursing pillows that were literally a pillow shaped like a crescent moon…they didn’t fit properly. Even if you don’t plan on nursing or can’t, it’s great to use for bottle feeding too!
Car Seat


NICE BUT NOT NECESSARY

Swing
Exercaucer
Bouncer
Diaper Warmer
Ocean Wonders (it’s that noise maker in the crib)
Mobile
Mirror for the car to look at baby in the back

Crumbs in Bed

So here are the latest developments in this pregnancy of mine.

It figures, like clockwork, that almost to the minute that I have hit 4 months, I have begun some sudden changes.

I shall list them for you:

1. Small and numerous bumps on my face. Not pimples....bumps. So many that my entire face has taken on a new texture and appearance. It is dry and tight and feels like elephant skin. Moisturizer only seems to stay on the surface it is so stiff. But if forget to moisturize..look out! I peel like a snake sheds its skin. Totally gross! Good news is...the zits are gone (for now) due to the dryness. This one is first on my list due to its high level of annoyance and unending ability to baffle me. I was supposed to start swimming this week. Now I am totally afraid of what chlorine will do to it.



2. 3:00 am hunger pains that wake me up. Do I feel like getting up to eat? Hell, NO! Crackers by the bed it is then. I've heard of women doing this, just never thought it would be me. I am a sound sleeper. Poor Don, was startled last night by the crackling of my cracker bag. Damn those things are loud. Apparently, he had just fallen asleep after a night of insomnia. Oooops! Better use a plate next time. I don't think he got back to sleep either.



3. Hmmmm. Not bending over all the way anymore. Time to bend at the knees. How am I going to take off my knee-high boots?



4. Itchy! Itchy! Itchy!



5. Falling asleep in front of the T.V. (well this has been happening since 1st trimester). But, it is happening even during my favourite shows! Can anyone tell me how HEROES ended?



6. Red rashy bumps on my chest. Kind of like what is on my face but redder and bumpier! V-neck sweaters are a no-no right now.



7. Stinky pee. What is up with THAT?

Thursday Thirteen...Let's give it a try shall we?

13 Elementary School Teacher Realities

13. A morning without coffee is a day without mercy. The kids know this...and that's why we get stacks of Tim Horton's gift certificates on holidays.

12. Gotta pee? Too fricken bad. No class shall be left unattended. When the recess bell rings, it's like I am the gladiator running through a gauntlet of little bodies packed in snowsuits, swinging their arms every which way, kicking their indoor shoes off to put on their boots, mittens flying everywhere, and those unfortunate souls who still can't do up a zipper and stop me every time I've made a step closer to that washroom to say,"I can't zip it! It's stuck!"
"It's not stuck", I say. "You are wearing mittens!" Yes, I still zip it. I run for it with precious few minutes to spare (though you really shouldn't run in the hall).

11. Gotta pee? Part II: "Miss Green, phone call line 2, Miss Green." Oh, the dreaded-mysterious-who-could-it-be phone call. Did I mention, I still haven't peed?
-"Heloo, Miss Green speaking."
-"Hi, this is Mrs. Sonso, Sara's mom. I was wondering how she did on her audition for the school play?"
-"Well, we had our last one yesterday, but we have not yet made our selections."
-"Did she do alright? I mean with what her father has been through recently, she really wants to make it. You should have seen her practising and singing and trying so hard in her room. She can't wait."
-"Yes, I see. Well, we will have our selections up this week. Myself and the two other directors must go through the names still. I wish her luck." -"Oh she will be so happy if she makes it. I work all the time and only see her at night. Her father is still getting better and she needs cheering up."
-"Yes, well we won't know until later this week. Have a good day. I think the bell is going to ring, so I must go. Okay. Sure. Alright. Mhmmm. Yep. Okay. Bye bye now. Have a nice day. You too. Bye bye." AAAAAAArRRRR! Rrrrrriiiiiiinnggggg! Sweet Jesus!

10. Boogers on the face. Boogers on the fingers. Is that a booger on the chair?

9. Instant classroom clinic:

1 trash can
1 chair
a book or two
a box of kleenex

a drink of water

8. Children won't listen? Say whatever it is you want to say, but sing it!

7. Children are honest creatures. a)"Miss, how come you cut your hair? You were pretty when it was long." b) "My mom says you are going to feel pain when the baby comes." c) "Miss, I put Logan's mitten in the toilet because I felt like it." d) "I don't wanna say PLEASE. It takes too long." e)"Miss Green....I wuv you." (My personal fave.)

6. A hallway locker can double as a changing room.

5. Red Crayola Marker= Red Lipstick.

4. I miss Peanut Butter Sandwiches.

3. The trick to get them to move quicker (eg. when cleaning up activities, getting dressed to go home). Say: "On your mark, get set....go!" You can make anything a race.

2. Nothing is as it seems: a) a line is not a line..it's a train. b) children don't sit in their spots, they sit in their special spaces. c) it's not a shoe bin, it's a magic shoe box. d)it's not "sit up straight", it's criss-cross apple sauce.

1. When I take a "mental health day" and stay home...I end up thinking about the kids and can't wait to see them tomorrow. I hope they missed me.